Bump on the road...

A few hours ago, the agony of waiting ended. I found out I didn't make the cut. Only 22% of the people who took the bar made it. I cried my heart out. My eyes hurt from crying. I was touched by the outpouring of support from my family. I know that my parents are hurting right now. I couldn't apologize enough for putting them through this situation. But they know that I did my best. I guess God always have a better plan for all of us. From the start I surrendered the result of the bar to His will. And this is it. It might sound too cliche, but its true that when God closes a door he opens a window... But I heard someone say, that when you can't feel a window open you can always break down the door. I take this experience as a bump on the road. Yes, I might have fallen off the wagon but I have to dust myself off and get into the wagon again. The fall might have hurt, but what doesn't kill me will make me stronger.
I would like to thank my parents who supported me, to my friends and loved ones who rooted, believed and prayed for me.
And to my fellow batchmates who didn't make it, all is well, just keep the faith.

The Agony of Waiting

OMG! It is starting to hit me now... The results will be released in a few hours. The wait is killing me. I think the same with the 5700 plus bar hopefuls. Last night I feel like Im going to be sick. I have a headache, backache, all the aches i think that my mind can make up. The Justices of the Supreme court better finish their session early or they might be responsible to the breaking of the last thread of sanity that holds the minds of my fellow hopefuls. Godspeed to all of us!

The day of reckoning arrived...

Wow! After six long months of waiting, something will happen today that will have a big impact on my life. I hope the result is positive... But if not, i guess i have to dust off and try again... Thanks for all the people who prayed for me and rooted for me. Thanks for my parents and love ones who supported me 100% all the way. Thanks for all the friends, old and new, who uttered a prayer for my success.. To my brother Henry and to my friend Jason, thanks for keeping me busy for the last few months on non-law related matters. I learned a lot about perspectives, elevation, cladding, layout, cadd, sketchup, microbio, and pharmacology. Both of you don't how much helping both of you helped me take my mind off the post-bar pressure. I might have gone crazy if both of you didn't ask for my help. Lets keep all our fingers crossed. And to my batchmates... Good luck to all of us!

Carpe Diem!!!

Somone sent me this before.. I thought i'd repost it again. It's kinda sad but true...

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
or saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Why your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.

You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own....when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

Tao lang...

Quoting some lines from the movie The Holiday...

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms."

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Nanay Vic's Bday Celeb

Its my Nanay Vic's birthday today (my paternal grandma) she turned 84. We all thought that it was her 85th.hehe! Anyways, we had a blast today. Although not all of my family were able to attend we made the most out of it. I've had so many roles today. I was a lifeguard (although I can't swim! hehe!), bbq attendant, and entertainer. I'm so happy I got to spend time with my family in bataan again after not seeing them in 8 months or so... but one part of me is sad coz of this holy week vacay... my waistline!!! I think i added an inch again because of the all the good food my Ate tess served us during our stay... there goes the pound that i lost... hehe! I also had some shots of generoso and polished my videoke skills. Too bad i couldn't beat my Kuya Erning at the videoke scores. Anyways, were back in Bulacan now. Till my next blog... :)

Henry's graduation

My little brother Henry graduated last March 18,2008. My parents were so happy. My lola, also came to see the graduation even if she's having difficulty walking. She is just so proud of her grandson. Jason was also with us, as well as Sharry, Louie, and Charisse. The ceremony stretched to 3 hours thats why by the time it ended we were all starving. We decided to eat at Dencio's and easily demolished our food as soon as it was served. hehe! After that we had a night cap at Starbucks.. Yes, we saved some room for coffee.. :) After coffee, we dropped by at hokzon to pick up my things.. Then off we go... All in all it was a fun night..

my dad's home!!

my dad came home today for a vacation! i haven't seen him in 10 months. I'm so happy he's here... we have so much catching up to do. the last time he had his vacay I was not able to make the most out of it because of the bar review. I hope this time i could make it up to him.. and i hope the we get good news about the bar this month. wish me luck everyone!

a day at "the farm"

many thanks to tita libay for inviting me to come to the farm at san benito. i had a great time and the place is really so beautiful... i don't know if i'll ever try going vegan again but still i enjoyed the day... the massage is heavenly; the water so fine; the ambiance so peaceful. i can't wait to go back!

people and things

After the bar exams, I don't quite know what I'm going to do with my life.. I tried to find a job but i wasn't lucky enough to get any. So i decided to chill for a while and ended up staying at my brother's apartment. I stayed there to help him with his thesis and to try a different environment for a while. There I met new friends. I met Jason. Our next door neighbor. He's a wonderful guy. I ended up helping him with his studies. From there, we became close friends. I also met his family and his mom when she came back from the states. She's such a cool mom. I enjoyed spending time with them. :)
Summer is starting and its kinda sad that I'm leaving the apartment. I've had so much fun staying here, meeting people, making friends. I'm gonna miss the place but most specially the people i became close with since I stayed.
The results of the bar will be released soon and I'm getting anxious. Will I make or not? It's pretty scary... But all I can do now is pray...
Thanks to the guys at Hokzon for making my stay worthwhile.. I'm gonna miss you all!
mwahugs!!!